Lessons I've learned from a Microwave Oven

It isn't often that I can say I've learned a lesson from an inanimate object. Today, while heating up leftover red beans and rice, I realized just how many lessons you can learn from a broken microwave oven.

Earlier this week, our microwave gave up the "ghost" and while it turns on, the whirling sound of the fan is gone, making it unsafe to use. We don't have one of those countertop microwaves. Ours is built into our cabinets and the control board connects to our wall oven. In other words, replacing it without replacing the entire oven unit is impossible. Needless to say, replacing it will also cost a lot more than a countertop microwave oven.

I grew up in a home that never had a microwave oven. In fact, they were rare. So rare that when my husband's family got one of the first ones, people thought it was a TV and no one ever put a TV in their kitchen. My husband often talks about his mother demonstrating the many wonders of cooking food in a microwave, but it was definitely not a trend that got our attention back in the early to mid-70's -- that's 1970's for anyone wondering!

In fact, I didn't get my first microwave oven until I moved to Madison at the age of 27. I remember picking it up at the Sears store at East Towne Mall. I was so proud of having a tool that would soon revolutionize my life. Being single, I could now cook food that normally took a minimum of a half hour to heat in the oven. It reheated leftovers, boiled water, and even made scrambled eggs in a coffee cup (minus the coffee). How did I live to the ripe old age of 27 without this thing?

I moved to Virginia Beach to attend law school at the age of 31 with my trusty microwave oven in tow. One day, while my roommate was using it, the microwave just went kaput. I do not recall if my roommate had a replacement or if I just adjusted to living without it. In any case, its demise did not make a big impression on me (although I did miss my cute little oven). 

Soon I graduated from law school and moved to Indiana where my apartment was equipped with a built-in microwave oven. I was thrilled! Even after I got married, wherever we lived, we had a microwave oven (we bought one when one of our residences had none). We bought our house more than 17 years ago and I instantly fell in love with the kitchen because it had a built-in microwave. No more counter space taken up by a clunky oven, I suddenly thought of all the "useful" gadgets I could put in its place!

All of that background, leads me to today when I was warming up the red beans and rice. You are likely asking yourself, "so what lessons, pray-tell, have you learned from your microwave?"

First of all, I've learned I am impatient. Without a microwave oven, I have to now heat my leftovers the old-fashioned way -- in a pot on the stove. Ugh! I have more dishes to dirty, a stove to wipe down, and I actually have to stand next to the stove and stir the leftovers so they don't burn! Impatiently, I tap my foot, and, I must confess, with a little bit of anger in my heart! I take a bite of food. "Still cold...." I mumble to myself. Tap...tap...tap. Yes, it took a whole 10 minutes to heat the food! Well, maybe not, because I cranked up the burner to high, like a fool, walked away for a moment, and nearly burned the beans due to my impatience.

Second, I am an instant gratification kind of person. That is a hard thing to admit because that is how babies act and who wants to act like a baby? But I know now that if I don't have instant results, I just might throw a tantrum or give up altogether. How foolish to think that the best things in life come instantly. How often do we go to drive-thru restaurants and instantly get our food (I know, less often than it used to be)? We get instant results when we "Google" our questions. We even have IM (that's "instant messenger" for those over the age of 55) on our Facebook page and smart phones. Whatever happened to the world where we actually have to wait for something?

I still remember my mom telling me, "Good things happen to those who wait" and "A watched pot never boils." Because of my desire for instant gratification, all too often I look for instant results from my children and my husband. The Lord has been long-suffering with me, yet I forget that people aren't a microwave oven which can boil water in under two minutes.

Third, my microwave oven has taught me that life doesn't always go as you planned. Proverbs 16:9 says, " The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." There is nothing wrong with making plans, just like there is nothing wrong with using a microwave oven (unless you are in the camp that says microwave ovens will kill you because it alters the molecular structure of your food). However, we should always be flexible since the Lord is the one who establishes our steps. A broken microwave oven will definitely make you flexible.

Finally, the most important lesson I have learned from my microwave oven is to not put your trust in "stuff," but rather put your trust in the Lord. The things of this world will pass away, but the Word of the Lord will last forever. I'm certain, over time, I will get a new microwave oven and I will likely learn more lessons from this inanimate object again, but these four lessons have taught me enough for one day.

Let's face it, complaining about a broken microwave is folly. It's time to take a fresh look at how God desires my heart more than my comfort. And I am certain when I learn that lesson, there will be more lessons like this one in my future. I just hope my toilet doesn't break next because I can think of a lot of lessons I could learn from that too!

On Being a Vigilant Homeschooler. . . .

Last Thursday Debi Ketron and I were invited to a meeting with several top staffers in the Governor’s Office to talk about the latest draft of the Indiana Education standards. Because this was the first time we were invited to a meeting of this type, we spoke little and listened much. We were grateful that the Governor’s Office extended an invitation to us; however, I felt a bit out of place since state standards do not apply to homeschoolers. In any case, we were given some interesting handouts that, if interested, you can peruse at your leisure here.

Homeschoolers should oppose Common Core because this is a Constitutional issue. Common Core's attempt is to nationalize education and directly violates states rights. Everyone knows or should know that since the beginning of our nation, educational policy and funding fall squarely within the bounds of state, not federal, government. Any student of the US Constitution understands that national educational standards violate the concept of enumerated powers; so, on principle alone, homeschoolers should join hands to oppose anything that violates state sovereignty. Indiana, through Senate Bill 91, pulled out of Common Core, a bold move that was lauded by many. Now the only question is whether Indiana can actually remove itself from federal standards when federal education money is so enticing. Not only is it enticing, it is political suicide to reject federal funding on which  local schools and parents have become addicted.

With criticism about the new Indiana standards coming from all sides of the political spectrum, I started thinking about homeschooling and why we must remain vigilant to defend our freedom to home educate our children, unhindered from any state (or federal) mandates or intrusions. First, homeschoolers receive no state money and therefore, we have the ultimate freedom to determine the best education for our children. No state official tells us what to teach our children and when to teach it to them. We do not choose our curriculum from a list generated by the bureaucrats in Indianapolis who review curriculum to make sure it meets certain standards. Our standards are simple and curriculum choices depend upon the learning and teaching styles of our children and us.

Second, we have no obligation to “register” with the State of Indiana, so no data is collected on the teacher/parent, our household income, and more importantly, our children. However, we must remain vigilant to make certain this data is not collected, since we have evidence that homeschool information is one of the most sought-after data by some groups who may not have the purest of motives. We can expect to see more data collection bills move through our state and federal government. If ever there was a time to be politically active, now is that time. We cannot afford to lose our homeschool freedoms to some over-reaching bureaucratic agency that looks at children as jobs to be filled rather than individuals with talents and gifts.

Third, homeschoolers come in all shapes, sizes, color, and with a list of motivations longer than the Amazon River! Very few homeschools look exactly the same. The children do not turn out exactly the same because the uniqueness of each child is what makes homeschooling so extraordinary. For example, some children are reading before Kindergarten, while others don’t read fluently until they are 10. Some children learn their ABC’s as toddlers, while others show no interest in learning them until they “have to.” Yes, homeschoolers make mistakes just like professional teachers in public and private schools, but most homeschoolers turn their mistakes into opportunities, rather than obstacles. It takes perseverance and character, not to mention tons of prayer and chocolate!

Finally, homeschooling takes sacrifice.  Anything worth pursuing comes with a price. While we should be concerned about public school standards, we need to keep our eye on the bigger picture: freedom. And with that freedom we are given a great responsibility to fight for and preserve our God-given right to “train up a child in the way that he should go.” If ever there was a time to be politically-active, now is that time.

 The bottom line is that homeschooling places the burden of education squarely where it needs to be placed – on the individual. It shifts education from the state and federal politicians and bureaucrats and places the onus on parents to take control. Don’t ever take this freedom to homeschool for granted, lest we lose it.

Christmas 2012 Letter

Christmas 2012

Dear Family and Friends:

What an amazing year we have had seeing good come from difficult circumstances and experiencing the faithfulness of Christ!

It was 6 a.m. on April 2^nd when David discovered the back door of our home wide open and many of our electronic items gone from our family room and office. A TV, two laptop computers, two game systems, three cameras, a purse, keys, wallet, cell phone, and more were all gone in an instant while we lay fast asleep upstairs in our bedrooms. Nathaniel’s backpacking items were in the living room as he readied himself for a backpacking trip on the Appalachian Trail with the church youth group. He still made it and had a glorious time, but in an instant we became victims of a home burglary. Later, our neighbor shared the recording of the entire burglary from their home security tape which we turned over to police. But they could do nothing to catch the thief. Yes, he came – a thief in the night – and we were not prepared. Fortunately, he only took “stuff” – much of it was broken or not working. So after insurance settlements and many tears later, we discovered that God’s plan was better than anything we could imagine. Our home and car locks were replaced, and we soon discovered how the Lord gives and takes away and gives again. We could replace nearly everything except a few video tapes of the kids when they were young. More importantly, we learned many lessons about the love and comfort of the Holy Spirit, the beauty that comes from the ashes of sinful behavior of people, and how to cling tightly to Jesus and not to our earthly treasures.

Just six weeks after the burglary, we got a call on May 18^th. Nathaniel was faithfully doing yard work for a friend when David received a phone call, “I’ve cut off my fingers!” David jumped in his car so quickly I could only fall on my face and cry out, “Please, Lord, help!”  Within minutes, David was at the ER (only minutes from our house) and six hours later, with the help of a world-class hand surgery center physician, Nathaniel’s fingers were repaired and months later, he was declared “healed.” God provided once again, leaving us stunned and amazed at the faithfulness of Christ to supply all that we needed and more! Nathaniel will always have the scars, but he learned a bigger lesson of trusting the Lord in the midst of trouble. Once again, we saw the mercy of the Lord and once again, we learned that our treasures in Heaven are much better than those on this earth.

We are happy to report the rest of the year was fairly dull and unexciting and we are thankful for that! 

Nathaniel indeed had an eventful year. In February, he had his Eagle Scout Court of Honor which was attended by friends and Aunt Dru who took wonderful photos of the event and family photos we will always treasure. He turned 15 in June, but was unable to attend Boy Scout camp due to his injuries. He continues to play cello and guitar, playing in two bands at church one of which he leads. Homeschooling is going very well and he remains active in Boy Scouts and Awana. He earned two Eagle Palms this year – additional awards Eagle Scouts earn for completing merit badges and staying active in their Troop. He serves as Assistant Senior Patrol Leader and looks for opportunities to hone his leadership skills. With the encouragement of a friend, he learned to swing dance and helps with nursery duty at church. A hard worker, he made enough money to invest in a new electric guitar and iPhone this year. Nathaniel’s biggest accomplishment came in October when he cycled 195 miles in three days across Indiana with his Boy Scout Troop. Using David’s 1970’s road bike, he biked all of those miles without hitching a ride on the sag wagon that followed along. 

Joshua, 13, was hit the hardest by the burglary. He lost all of his Xbox games, two gaming systems, gaming accessories, and a computer screen. He had gone to bed only a half hour before the burglary occurred and we are thankful he was not harmed. He never complained and made us all proud as he waited patiently to have most of the loss restored, including new games, new Xbox, and an HD TV instead of a broken computer screen! Joshua is doing well in school, but has discovered his internal clock runs best later in the day. Joshua, almost as tall as his dad, is growing up to be a charming young man with a great sense of humor. He enjoys Boy Scouts, became a member of Order of the Arrow, and gained Star Scout rank this year. Joshua loves camping and never misses an opportunity to sleep outdoors in a tent! He attended summer camp and earned his Shot Gun Shooting merit badge, scoring 23 out of 25 shots! He has discovered his love of American history this year and loves to study battles and wars in particular. Earning his Meritorious Award in May, he started his 10^th year of Awana in August!

David’s business endeavors are going well, as we celebrated our fifth year of self-employment in November, adding one new client this year. We are so thankful that the Lord has allowed him to continue building his business despite the economic slowdown. He works long and often strange hours, but his clients appreciate his dedication as he helps other small businesses work better and smarter. He and Camille co-lead the high school Awana club called Journey. We are humbled by our new “calling” to minister to high schoolers and find it both challenging and inspiring.

Camille continues to manage the household: cleaning the house and clothes, planning and preparing meals, and keeping the home school schedule on track. After a year of testing four different washers and dryers, we finally settled on the one to purchase – a Maytag top loading washer with all the bells and whistles. Happy with the new appliances, the only disappointment is that the clothes do not fold themselves and put themselves back into the dressers and closets! Camille’s sister, Pam, planned a family reunion in July which we were blessed to attend. It was a huge success and fun to see so many family members. We camped two nights at a wonderful campground and had a great time! Friends Jack and Tonya Johnson stopped in for a visit and we gave them a tour of the city. Camille always looks forward to Pam and Tim’s annual visit to Indy and this year was fun as we stumbled upon a free concert in the Artsgarden downtown. It definitely put us in the Christmas spirit and, while always too infrequent, family and friends are always welcomed to visit.

Three of us received our first aid, CPR, and AED certification this year. David and Camille were “camp cooks” for the weekend biking trip across Indiana. We made and delivered two healthy and hot dinners to the troop members when they finished biking for the day. While cooking is a fun hobby, we finally put to rest any aspirations of opening our own café!

We celebrated Thanksgiving with our special needs friend Susie McCloud again this year. She has no family, so we’ve made her a part of ours. As the year winds down, we will celebrate Christmas Eve with our neighbor singing carols and fellowshipping with a meal and snacks. We are definitely dreaming of a white Christmas and more snow this winter than we had last year.

As we close 2012, our prayer for you is the same as Paul prayed for the church in Ephesus: 

…that He (Christ) would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. – Ephesians 3:16-19

Wishing you a most blessed Christmas and a happy year to come!

 Love,

The Cantwell Family

 David, Camille, Nathaniel, & Joshua

Homeschooling Thoughts: Another Year Begins

Homeschooling can be a very lonely place knowing that some of my siblings have said to my face that they disagree with our decision to homeschool. I have no doubt they criticize me behind my back as well. It is their opinion, not fact, that the public schools are better at educating my children than me. If they want to defend the failing educational standards in the USA, they are free to do so. I happen to believe that most people could homeschool if they wanted to do it. My circle of friends certainly have made the sacrifices – some of them homeschool through grade school while others homeschool through high school like me. Dave and I happen to believe it is the best way for children to develop mature social skills without the social pressure put on them by other children or teachers.

While some of you may believe homeschoolers are “behind” in social skills, the studies I have seen do not bear that out – nor has my personal observation. We live in a society with mixed age groups except in the traditional school setting. I don’t believe that separating children by age or grade is the real world, nor is it the best way for children to learn “social skills.” Eight and 12 year olds do not know how to model social skills to other eight and 12 year olds, and the social skills they do model are not ones I want my children to learn! Character education must begin at home, as does socialization. It is important that my boys are involved in their community and church and both have unique personalities when interacting with adults, peers, and children. My older son may be more outgoing than my younger son, but both have no trouble interacting with people of all ages!

As for my children’s test scores – all I can say is that when I test them, including the Iowa Standardized tests, they score very high. I don’t say this to brag, but rather to note that they are good at taking standardized tests. Even if they weren’t good at taking tests and scored low, it doesn’t mean they aren’t intelligent or that they aren’t learning anything. My children are self-learners. While I guide them and tutor them, they have been self-taught since 7^th grade in most things, using curriculum we both pick out. Of course, if they have questions or get stuck, we are here to help, but they are independent learners nevertheless.

Both of my children have thanked me and Dave for making homeschool a priority in our family. I believe they will be well-prepared for higher education should they choose to go that route. More importantly, they do not suffer bullying and the peer pressure that comes with Jr. High and High school. They speak with us about any issues they have and we have regular family meetings  around the dinner table to discuss anything we need to discuss. We have not neglected to teach them sex education, drug and alcohol education, the dangers of smoking, and hanging around with the wrong crowd. 

While we are very involved in church activities and have Christian friends, they  also spend time with individuals who do not believe what we believe. We have a diverse neighborhood and they have grown up with Asians, Africans, Hispanics, Muslims, Indians who are Hindus, and those in the Jewish faith, so they do not just hang out with white male Protestants! We even have at least one Redneck in the neighborhood! Trust me, they understand and know many things, but they need not experience them to understand them!

We attend a church with many other homeschoolers and we find each family of homeschoolers is unique. Metropolitan Indianapolis area has many homeschooling groups, but we belong to none, although we have belonged to some in the past. Our Boy Scout troop has no other homeschoolers, but we’ve found the boys' involvement in the Troop to be one of the best social activities for our children. The other boys and adult leaders accept them and challenge them all at the same time! They have unique opportunities for leadership roles as well as following roles.  

Both Dave and I value education, but it is not our “God” because we know that a degree is merely a tool, not necessarily a display of true character, excellence, or intelligence. Having had 7 years of higher education myself, I know that formal education is not the only way to gain experience or understanding in this world. Some of the most financially successful people today never finished their 4-year degree! We did not come to the decision to homeschool without research and prayer. We believe it is best for our family and that is all that really matters. What others do is their business, but I have taken great pains NOT to personally attack or criticize their decisions, even when I disagree with them.

I do believe the public schools have more problems than they can solve. We have many charter schools in Indianapolis which seem to be doing better, but even they have issues in which to contend and overcome. Some of the private schools in Indy are wonderful, while others are no different than the public schools. In the end, I will not worry about what others do or say. Dave and I are confident this is the best route for us and our family. We do not ask you to agree with us, but we do expect you to respect our decision. We do not expect to produce super-stars, but we are raising children who love to learn and that was our goal all along!

On Being a Content Mom and Wife.....

I determined to live a more simple life many years ago when I decided not to have my children involved in so many activities, but to focus on just one or two important activities, homeschool my children at home (co-ops are great for some people, they just aren't for us), cook healthy meals, enjoy dinner around the table at least 5 or 6 nights a week, and make every moment count for God. I still have too much "stuff" in my house, but even that doesn't get in the way of living simply. It just means that our focus is on people and not things (and sometimes "things" pile up).

 

I have concluded after at least 10 years of living like this that my life is actually richer than those who have two-income families, go on lavish vacations and buy a new car every other year. We take each day at a time and do what we can to love people and look for ways to bless others. We are learning to be content with what we have (not what we want) and learning not to compare ourselves with others. 

 

God's blessings have come in ways we don't expect and He has shown Himself faithful in ways others cannot see. Maybe it is because they aren't looking for those small, simple blessings that the Lord pours out on us to enjoy each day...like a smile from our children, an item that goes on sale just when we need it, or even a burglary in my home so that God can bless us with new items that have become worn out or broken.

 

My prayer today is that we can keep our focus on what is important -- teaching our children to have a Biblical worldview and learning how to be empathetic toward other people's plights. It is always more rewarding and glorifies our Heavenly Father when we just keep our life simple and keep our focus on Christ.

Praising the Lord for His Goodness in Hard Times

Below is a letter I wrote to my second oldest sister, Joyce. I've edited it slightly to take out any personal stuff that isn't relative to this post. The reason I am posting it is because the Lord has really done so much for our family over the past 6 or 7 weeks. It is easy to forget, so hopefully this letter will always help us to remember:

Dear Joyce: Thanks for your note. I’ll let Nathaniel and Joshua know you are thinking of them. He (Nathaniel) is able to bend his fingers and move them more, but they are still wrapped and in little hard “football helmets” as the medical assistant called them. He was at Therapy on Tuesday getting the dressings removed and it nearly sent Nathaniel through the ceiling as they had to peel the dried blood-soaked gauze off the wound. He decided he wanted to go off the narcotics and just took 2 Tylenol and 3 Motrin that morning, so he felt more pain than he anticipated he would. The MA was so sweet and gentle and took an hour just to change his dressings and show him some simple things to do to keep his fingers moving and to de-sensitize them. Nathaniel has kept his incredibly great sense of humor through all of this, and although he could be “kicking” himself, he has a “heavenly” perspective on this all. And Joshua is stepping up doing Nathaniel’s chores while Nathaniel is unable to do them…without complaint and without expecting anything in return. Yup – I have two wonderful boys who love Jesus and that makes me very happy and very proud.

One of the most kind things was how quickly Dru’s family and Pam’s family responded, lavishing gifts on him and sending sweet notes of love and comfort just when he needed it most. He got the funniest card from Michelle today a sweet note from Mack who hardly even knows him. They sent a balloon to help “lighten” up the pain which he promptly inflated and put in his room. It’s the simple thing that often mean the most!

Amazing things happens when tragedy strikes – neighbors, friends, church members, my friends on Facebook and Nathaniel’s Facebook friends have all sent kind and caring messages to him. I got a friend request from the mother of one of Nathaniel’s friends on Facebook who is an evangelical Christian and a homeschooler. They want to send Nathaniel a get-well card and asked if I minded sending our address – they want to surprise him and they have never even met him! So, I guess it really shows how much love people really do have for one another.  As Dave’s mom said in a sweet note she sent to him, “sometimes accidents happen.”  Hindsight Is always 20/20, but I have always found the Lord has a reason for everything and even this tragedy will result in something good in the end…perhaps it will help Nathaniel become more empathetic toward others who are hurting, perhaps it will open up new opportunities and doors for more blessings. It will most definitely give him a great story that he can tell for many years to come. AND we have heard our share of “finger” and lawnmower stories, helping us to realize how much worse it could have been.

On another note, our insurance settlement came through and we got a partial check for the depreciated amount. Already we have watched the Lord open up opportunities and bargains to us. Just tonight as we were looking to buy a replacement for the DSLR camera that was stolen, we found one for $250 cheaper than everywhere else we had looked. We wanted to get it, but none were on the shelf and the sale ended today. The store policy is NOT to give rain checks on advertised items, but the sales guy felt sorry for us and gave us one anyhow. The rain check is good for 30 days! Two days earlier we found the exact laptop computer that I had gotten for my birthday (which was stolen as well) on sale for less than we paid when Dave bought it before. We had a warranty on the stolen computer which our insurance would not cover (exclusion for items insuring future loss), but the store honored the original warranty minus only $30. They should have taken much more off. Joshua’s Xbox that was stolen we got for almost $100 less than we paid for it two Christmases ago…again new and exact same model. We have found games that were stolen for the same amount or even cheaper than we originally paid for them….I could go on and on….

Even the insurance adjuster at State Farm was a blessing. She kept giving us more and more and felt badly that we had to wait so long because of playing telephone tag and then some other things that had happened that prevented me from calling back (my good friend from church was ill and hospitalized, so I arranged meals for her family and helped her with the AWANA closing programs this year). Our claim was for around $10,000 in the end and as Dave and I have already seen, we are saving far more than we ever expected…deals popping up before our eyes, checking websites and sales at just the right time, etc. It is as though the Lord is saying to us that He will take care of us…and the best thing of all is that He’s giving us new things for the old and worn out stuff we had….not so much that they did not work, but they weren’t in perfect condition. It reminds me of the verse in Isaiah 61:3, "...to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified."

I could go on and on, but I guess it is all to say that I am still learning how to trust the Lord when difficulties come…but I know that in the end, the Lord has the big picture in mind and He works all things together for good. What may appear to the unseeing eye as a foolish or a crazy mistake is not foolish in the Lord’s eyes. He has a greater purpose and plan in mind. All we must do is trust in the Lord and allow His handiwork to shine through us.

It is a wait and see situation with us…much depends upon the outcome of Nathaniel’s fingers and our financial situation after that is all said and done. With no health insurance, we have no other choice but to trust that the Lord will work it all out…and you know what? He will! We have applied for assistance from the government, a necessary step even if we don’t qualify, but we are not worried because we know the Lord’s plans are not our plans, and there is no point in worrying about tomorrow! If He can take care of the sparrows, how much more will He also take care of us?!

We are almost finished with school…the burglary and accident put us a little behind, but I am Nathaniel’s scribe for his Geometry final which means he will finish school tomorrow. Joshua should be finished as well. Nathaniel will see the hand surgeon on Tuesday and hopefully will let us know if he can go to summer boy scout camp in 3 weeks. We are thinking it might not happen and Nathaniel, who is learning to accept the things he cannot change, is fine with that. He can still play guitar and cello, albeit, holding a pick and a bow is a little bit of a challenge right now. He may have lost the opportunity to perform his cello recital, but he has gained amazing character, perseverance and faith in the Lord because of this….money cannot buy any of those things! We are so immensely thankful that the Lord would count us worthy of such trials and tribulations to endure. James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” We are anxiously awaiting to see what the Lord has in store for us next! Hopefully we will be able to stand strong and endure anything that comes our way. We are definitely praying for God’s mercy!

Have a wonderful summer and enjoy your flowers….they have been blooming here and we are taking each day one day at a time.

Love,

Camille and the rest of the Cantwell gang

Ten Reasons Not to Homeschool

 by Jim Muncy

Why send your kids to public schools rather than homeschool. Here are ten good reasons: 

10. Skill development: Government schools do a great job of teaching children to sit down and shut up while the teacher engages in crowd control and mindless administrative duties. The ability to put one's mind on hold, sit there and do nothing is a skill that will be in high demand in the competitive marketplace of the future. 

9. Lack of ability: I couldn't teach my own child - I don't know how. After all, anything meaningful in life can only be taught by those properly trained and certified to do so. 

8. Financial aspects: We can't financially afford to homeschool. Without the school based health clinics, how could we afford to keep our children supplied with condoms and birth control. 

7. Goals 2000: I want my children to learn all the correct stuff. Given how fast history changes, I want to be sure they are up on the most recent version. 

6. Scheduling benefits: Staying on the same schedule as everybody else has its benefits. That way, when we go to Orlando, we can make sure that we spend our time waiting in lines rather than wasting it on all those rides and attractions. 

5. Close friendships: I like the fact that my children are spending so much of their time with people not in their family. I would much rather my children's closest friendships be outside the family rather than within. 

4. Separation of church and state: As long as we keep church and state separate, then the more time I can keep my kids under the control of the state, the less time they can possible be under the harmful influence of the church. 

3. Socialization: What possible better way could there be to give your children the social skills they will need as adults than to stick them with children their own age all day. Besides, the best influence on your child is the one randomly assigned to the seat behind him or her in home room. 

2. Class size: Learning can't occur in groups of less than twenty students. There is nothing quite like being lock-stepped through material with thirty other students to really develop within a person that true love for learning. 

1. Class pace: I want my child to know how to learn at the proper pace. If a child can't keep up with the class, then it serves that child right to be left behind in the dust. If the child is learning too fast, then he or she needs to learn to slow down. And besides, what gives any child the right to assume that he or she can learn things he or she wants to learn rather than what the Federal Government decides should be taught for any given grade level. Anything learned at the wrong time might just as well be left unlearned.

MY COMMENT:
The last reason is my favorite. My husband's daughter, when she was in Jr. High School told him that she could not learn a certain subject because her teachers told her she would learn it later. Another time when he tried to teach her a different way of doing an algebra problem, she started to cry and told him that she had to do it the way the teacher taught her or she would get it wrong. When he said that the way he did it wasn't wrong and she would come up with the same answer, she looked at him and told him she could not do it his way because it was the wrong way and refused to listen. In her refusal, she basically told him he didn't know anything and her teachers knew everything. Sadly, his daughter continued her quest and family relationships were broken.

In that moment I KNEW I could never send my children to the government schools where educators brainwash children into thinking they are the only ones who are qualified to teach and they are the only ones who know the right way and the right time to teach it.

Our decision was confirmed when my oldest son, at the age of 18 months, learned every letter of the alphabet by name, and when we would go into a store, while walking down the aisles, he'd tell me the letters on boxes, on signs, etc. Those who saw and heard him were astounded when I told them his age. 

By the age of 2, he could name every part of a violin down to the perferling (my only regret is that we never taught him how to spell perferling!). He learned his powers of 2 before the age of 5 and could name every note we played on the piano by the age of 3 or 4, reinforcing the idea that you can teach your children perfect pitch. 

Can you imagine if he had gone to the government schools after that? He would have been whooped into shape in no time at all, being told to slow down. They likely would have scolded him because he did not rote learn his addition and subtraction facts before he learned how to multiply. Today, my son, at the age of 15, continues in his quest to learn whatever he can, and has a deep love for learning. Thank the Lord for the privilege we have to homeschool in our country!

The Treasures of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

I am reminded every day when I homeschool that I could have wealth and riches and maybe be out of debt (although most people are never satisfied), but God is more interested in people than stuff. Investing principles require us to have faith that what we've invested in will have expected results. If we are blessed, we will get more than we expected; however, if we neglect our investments, we will be disappointed in the outcome or performance.
 
Some investments just don't work out as planned, but if you make an effort, doing the best possible, you are never a failure. Sometimes you must balance difficult  investments against something that will bring positive results. However, you can never "bank" on your investments since results are not guaranteed. You take a risk and they may not turn out as you intended, but you can make the best effort and never give up.

That is how it is with children. Results are not guaranteed, but if you keep trying and never give up you will reap the benefits of long-term investing. Some children are easy investments that have innumerable results, others take longer, and we may never fully realize the outcome until decades later. We cannot always see that in either case, the investment of our time, attention, and devotion, not to mention the sacrifice is worth more than silver or gold.

Many children wish they had parents that cared and loved them more than pursuing a career, money, fame, and the "stuff" of this world. I have something money cannot buy.  I have a husband who loves me, sacrifces for me, and has a servant heart. I have children who have morals, leadership skills (albeit, different from each other), and a sense of being loved even when they aren't lovely. My children have often thanked me, but they have also gotten frustrated with me too. But they know and I know that "Love covers a multitude of sins."

My children are in the minority. They have two parents, a mom who stays home, a dad who owns his own business so he can be involved in their lives, and a home to live in. We eat 21 meals a week from groceries we pay for without government assistance -- most of them gathered around the dining room table. They have chores to do and don't get an allowance. We give them opportunities, but don't buy their affection, and more importantly, we don't stay so busy that we have no time just to sit around and enjoy each other's company. We play games, walk around the block, spontaneously jump in the car to get a late-night treat.

We may be in the minority, but in the end, through the sacrifice and sorrow that sometimes comes with being a homeschooler, and stay-at-home mom, we all realize one thing -- God sees and he is pleased. God doesn't think it is a waste of time to hug your child, sing or play a song, laugh at a joke, watch a movie or read a book together. He never intended women to pursue their own agenda, he intended us to raise our children up to serve Him and train up our children in the way they should go. He intended us to be keepers of our home and be an example to our daughters. We are also to be an example to our sons, modeling to them how to love, serve, and be honored as a husband should. Hopefully my sons will honor and love their wives and find a wife that would do the same for them.

God's priorities are not the world's priorities and I am thankful for that. I am thankful that my husband wants me to fulfill my role as a wife and mother. I am thankful for children who can look at a sunset and be in awe or not be ashamed to have me be in their presence around their friends. I am thankful that God allows us time to get to know each other and love our children and our children love us, flaws and all. I am thankful that the Lord has never looked at the small sacrifices I make each day and thought they were a waste of time. Instead, he has called me blessed. And I am.

Response to Outrageous Attack on Homeschooling (an article from HSLDA and my Editorial Comments at the end)

FROM HSLDA Website -- this is just too good not to repost!
October 7, 2010

Recently the Palladium-Item in Richmond, Indiana published an article online entitled “What do we do with home-schoolers?” The article was written by Mr. Tom Stein, the senior pastor of Christ Presbyterian Church in Richmond. In the article Mr. Stein complained that homeschooling in Indiana is too free and easy and that more oversight and regulation would be reasonable. Mr. Stein suggested that parents should have to submit curriculum and participate in standardized tests as well as submit to occasional visits to their home by public school officials.

While Mr. Stein’s reason for his initial concerns appears to do with his allegation that local public school officials were pushing public school dropouts into homeschool programs to lower their dropout rate, his solution for this problem was outrageous. HSLDA attorney Tj Schmidt submitted a letter in response to this article, and it is posted below:

In his letter to the Palladium-Item of October 1, 2010, Mr. Tom Stein, senior pastor of Christ Presbyterian Church in Richmond, Indiana made some ill-informed statements about homeschooling that don’t provide an accurate picture of the homeschooling environment in the great state of Indiana.

Rather than needing to be closely supervised by the public school bureaucracy, as Mr. Stein suggests, via “submission of a curriculum, occasional visits, and participation in the standardized tests,” homeschoolers are, in fact, excelling both academically and socially. In a study titled the Progress Report 2009, students from all 50 states were administered standardized achievement tests. Homeschoolers scored on average 37 percentile points higher than their public school counterparts. Furthermore, the level of government regulation had no impact on the results. Students from states with low regulation such as Texas, Illinois, and Indiana scored the same as students from states with high regulation such as New York and Pennsylvania. The findings of this study were consistent with every other study conducted on homeschooling since its re-emergence as an educational option in the 1980s.

But homeschoolers also excel socially. In the 2004 study Homeschooling Grows Up, homeschoolers were shown to be active members of society and even more involved with their communities then the average public school student. For example, 76% of homeschooled graduates aged 18–24 were found to have voted in a national/state election in the past 5 years compared with just 29% of the general population of 18–24-year-olds.

It seems that Mr. Stein is mistakenly targeting the wrong group. His central complaint is a concern that public school officials are purposefully trying to improve their graduation rates, not by improving the educational environment of the local public schools, but by classifying public school drop-outs as homeschoolers.

While we have also heard that public school officials across the state are encouraging drop-outs to be classified as homeschoolers, Mr.Stein’s solution to crack down on all homeschoolers is not the answer. The focus should be on the conduct of public school administrators and the failure of the public schools to provide an adequate education to those who are struggling with their schools rather than the tens of thousands of homeschooling families who are successfully teaching their children at home in Indiana.

Fortunately, the law is on the side of homeschoolers. As recognized by a number of U.S. Supreme Court decisions, the right of parents to direct the education and upbringing of their children is protected by the liberty clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Also, Indiana recognizes the right of parents to teach their children at home. Under Indiana law, a parent must provide instruction equivalent to that found in the public schools. In fact, the relevant section of Indiana Code states: “It is unlawful for a parent to: (1) fail; (2) neglect; or (3) refuse; to send his child to a public school for the full term as required under this chapter unless the child is being provided with instruction equivalent to that given in the public schools.”

Parents in Indiana who have chosen to teach their children at home are simply exercising their constitutional and statutory rights to do so. And based on the studies of student academic performance, the present level of state regulation of homeschooling in Indiana is more than sufficient.

My (Camille's) comments:
Perhaps Mr. Stein should apply his same logic to his congregational members who drop out and quit coming. Perhaps we need more government oversight to determine if this is because they are not being adequately "fed" the Word of God or that his sermons are ineffective in motivating members to continue coming to his church. He should be required to submit to government officials his sermons ahead of time to determine if they are in line with the Word of God, participate in periodic visits from government officials to his church, and state testing of members to see if they are continuing to grow in God's word.

As ridiculous as these statements sound because we all agree that government has no business overseeing religious organizations because our US Constitution protects churches from government intrusion, this is basically what Mr. Stein is suggesting that government do to oversee parents who have a constitutional right to educate their children as they deem appropriate! One would never suggest the former, so why in the world do people believe it is okay to suggest the latter?

I would submit to you it is because people do not see parenting, and educational choice as a constitutional right. The "Nanny" state has set itself up to invade our homes by trying to tell US, the citizens of this great country, what is the proper way to educate and raise our children.

Yes, government can be there to protect children whose parents do not take their responsibilities seriously, but it has no more right to invade my home and tell me how to educate my children than it does to measure the effectivness of a preacher delivering a message to its congregation. I urge you not to give up your rights as parents to train up your children in the way they should go. When we relinquish this right - we slide down the slippery slope of Socialistic countries who give no rights to parents or religious entities.

Every Parent Is (or can be) a Homeschooler

I have been homeschooling since Nathaniel was born in 1997. Yup. He learned his ABC's and all his letters when he was 18 months old. He learned his major colors and learned to count to 10 around the same age. When he was almost 2 years old, he learned and could recite all of the parts of a violin and when he looked at a Sears Hardware catalog, he could tell us the name of every small tool by name.

When he was 3 or 4, I began to teach him basic skills, painting, cutting, drawing, coloring and writing letters. He also learned basic arithmetic, like adding, subtracting, fractions (we used music to teach him fractions) and soon he learned his powers of two by dividing pies! He sang songs, learned his letter sounds, and eventually it was a natural progression to teach him to read.

Joshua learned in a similar way (although he was less enthusiastic about music, tools, and fractions). He was definitely not the same as Nathaniel, but he shined when it came to cooking, outdoor exploration (he climbed trees as tall as our house!), and art. He also loved the computer.....and still does!

So what is homeschooling and who can do it? Well, I contend, every parent who teaches their children basic skills is a homeschooler! Any parent involved in teaching their children can do it!

What does it take to continue homeschooling beyond the preschool years? It takes a vision, a desire, and a willingness to have your faith in God tried, tested, and perfected. It doesn't take patience, but a willingness to learn it (and fail, over and over again). It takes perseverance to overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Most of all, it requires an 18 year commitment to say "yes" to your children and "no" to the things of this world. It sometimes requires sacrificing or delaying things that others think are important. But I contend that nothing is as important as the children you have. They are worth every minute of sacrifice and struggle and the time goes by more quickly than you'd ever believe it could.

So, if you think school should be left to the "professionals" just remember, you are the best teacher your child could ever have...flaws and all.

A reason (or two) for homeschooling and why you should never listen to a closed-minded teacher!

I am not against educating children in government-run schools. But I do believe that homeschooling can and does produce very well-educated children that can and do achieve much. This statement is not based upon my opinion -- it is shown in study after study -- it is a fact. Since only about 10% of the children in this country are homeschooled, it is obviously not a choice for everyone. I do not condemn parents who send their children to government-run schools, but I disagree that the government run schools of today bear any resemblance to the government-run schools many of us attended decades ago. In fact, homeschooling is much like the one-room schools my older siblings attended  and apparently was good enough to educate my "teacher-educated siblings." I do believe traditional education has produced mediocre results. Again, this is not my opinion, it is a fact. If this were not true, then why does the government continue to throw more and more tax dollars at the traditional public schools and continue to see growing dropout rates, and lower standardized test scores? Even our own U.S. Department of Education admits that too many public schools are failing (unless this is just a ploy for them to federalize our education system, which God help us if that happens!). I also do not believe homeschooling is the "answer" to failing schools. Homeschooling only works when parents want to do it. I know many parents who have tried it and quit, and many who would like to try it, but never start for many reasons! I also know many parents who would never dream of homeschooling their children -- and guess what? I support their decision, whatever it may be!


Several charter schools in our area, located in the poorer areas of the city, provide non-traditional classes and programs for elementary and high school students. They have no teacher's unions, low administration costs and show far better results than the traditional public schools because they aren't caught up in teacher union disputes, school board politics, and political correctness. A friend of mine who works at one charter school in Indianapolis told me that every graduating student who graduated in 2010 will be attending a two or four year college and all have received some type of scholarship or grant to assist them in paying for their education. Many of these students have come out of traditional schools, were failing, and were given personal-one-on-one attention -- just like a homeschooler is given -- and achieved their goals. Obviously, not every child accepted to the school succeeds (just like not every homeschooled student succeeds), but this non-traditional government-run school spends far less per student than the traditional ones and yet, politics, teachers, parents, and union bosses won't support the building of more of these types of schools. I find that a very sad commentary on the "traditional" schools of today -- and I assure you these "traditional schools," many filled with excellent teachers, bear no resemblance to the schools I attended some 3 to 4 decades ago!

For those who argue that universities are "traditional" schools, I would argue they are not and I hope they would not produce mediocre results since the students are adults, are no longer forced to attend classes, and are given a choice as to which university they want to attend. Moreover, like homeschooling, students attending college are, for the most part, teaching themselves and professors are simply tutors who administer exams to verify students have learned what they should. By the time a homeschool student is in college, he or she already has a firm grasp on independent study, teaching oneself, and learning from their "tutor-parent." I didn't go to college to just get a college degree or "a piece of paper," rather I exercised my love for learning that has lasted a lifetime and by God's grace will last until the day I die. This is exactly what my homeschool is all about (I can't speak for others): to challenge my children to have a lifetime love for learning. And I am certain children attending privately-run and government-run schools have this same opportunity and many, I am certain, achieve it too.

Unfortunately, some members of my family continue to stick to their prejudices arguing "I don't feel one person can teach all subjects well no matter how much education or how smart they are." Well, I suppose if you believe a person NEEDS a teacher for his or her entire life to "learn" then that statement is true, but if you believe YOU can teach YOURSELF at some point in time, then the homeschooler doesn't need a teacher to know everything for a child to learn. Moreover, if I'm not mistaken, a teacher in the elementary grades teaches every subject....so why does a teacher have enough education to teach every subject in Kindergarten through 5th or 6th grade (and in the case of my older siblings who were taught by one teacher in a one-room school house through high school), but when a child reaches 6th grade suddenly a teacher doesn't possess enough knowledge to teach every subject. Homeschoolers, like every student must take that leap from being taught to being tutored to learning side-by-side WITH the tutor. This transition happens naturally in a homeschools since it is obvious a parent cannot (just like a teacher cannot) know everything a child needs to learn in high school. Often homeschoolers who have a high interest in a subject will exceed the knowledge of his or her tutor because the homeschooler is teaching him or herself! Is this a new concept? Hardly! That is exactly what happens in universities and what is expected to succeed in life. If the sum-total of a lawyer's education is what he or she learns in law school, how does a lawyer learn about a new law or apply case law to specific facts of an entirely different set of parties? It is here that "traditional" teachers lose the argument. They can't have it both ways! Either they must admit a student doesn't need a teacher to learn what he or she wants to learn or the student must have a teacher to learn everything he or she needs or wants to know! The first part of this statement is how all of us live our lives (well, those of us who desire to continue to learn throughout our lifetimes) and the second part of this statement is ridiculous.

My favorite argument from my "teacher" family members is: "I also feel the socialization and exchange of various ideas in school help shape our lives." No question, exchange of ideas do help us shape our lives and who better to banter ideas with than our own family members? It is there that a child can freely express his or her thoughts without fear of ridicule or laughter. It is a safe place where peer pressure doesn't push a child into thinking his "ideas" are stupid or foolish or worse yet, produce homogenized thinking.

As for socialization issues....my first response is that I don't want my children to be "socialists." which is exactly what the government schools of today are producing. Moreover, what better socialization skills to possess than to interact with adults and children of all ages rather than children only in your own grade. In fact, nothing after 12th grade remotely resembles the "socialization" a child receives in a traditional school. And why is "school" the only place where children can learn "socialization" skills? Reality tells me that if you want to train a child in the way he should go, the last person who should be training our children is OTHER children!

I have no doubt my "educator" sisters are and were excellent teachers! I have no doubt their students learned many things and many were successful. For many public and private school teachers, teaching is more than a job, but rather it is a desire to plant good seeds into the hearts and minds of children. So why then would these educated educators be so negative toward family members who feel the same way and want the same things for their children but in a homeschool setting? Afterall, a parent who has a heart to homeschool their children make many sacrifices to teach their children and instill in them a love for learning too. Obviously, not every teacher is cut from the same cloth, and one can certainly point to some terrible teachers just like one can point to some pretty terrible homeschoolers! But since one of my sisters told me not too long ago, "you will never convince me that homeschooling is the best way to educate a child," I don't know why I continue to beat my head against the wall. She's made up her mind (never mind the facts) and that's all that matters. Now, the only question is: Have you?